i feel like i should be giving up here. everything. my sobriety, giving up on my break from si, a hope that i can find someone that i can love and call my own, and lastly, my life. i have gone through four therapists in two years, the meds i’ve been taking aren’t doing anything, my doc sits there and stares at me, doesn’t seem to care what is going on with me, but would rather talk about crap that isn’t important. i feel like i’ve let everyone down. my family most importantly, and my friends. i often wonder if this is all really worth it, my life. there have been countless times where i wish i had died instead of my baby sister. i don’t deserve this life. i’ve hurt my mom and dad more times than i can remember. why shouldn’t i just give up? i’ve got the means to end it all.