My dad began to scream at me earlier for not sending my sister the bit of money I owe her.  I had it ready for her when she was in town and she stood me up and didn’t meet me to get it.  I do realize I still should have sent it to her, but I had made the effort before and now it’s a bit tougher.  Anyway, to make an extremely long story short he called me “that thing”, “stupid b****”, and said I was tearing the entire house and family apart.  To top it off he said that depression doens’t really exist, it’s just an excuse to lounge around all day and feel sorry for yourself.

 I just want to run away from it all.  Even my daughter, and that makes me feel worse.  I love her to death, but I can’t possibly stay here, and she would be so much safer here than with me at the moment.  I injured when I finally got away.  Why do I enjoy it so much?  My suicide number was 6 but it lessened when I injured, and that may have been what made me injure so much.  My parents don’t believe that depression is an actual issue.  They do, but they don’t believe it is chemical and just think it is mental and about your attitude.