At this point in my life I don’t really know what to do. I’m wanting to attend S.A.F.E because I feel that I am ready and that I need to put this behind me…but I’m afraid that if I take that step, I won’t have anything left. I started doing all of this when I was ten years old. It was like I magically found a way to live even when I didn’t want to exist at all. I’ve injured both the outside and inside of my body. As of yet I’ve been self-injury free for a month, and it feels nice but the anxiety that comes with it is just too much. I keep telling myself over and over that I can find a way to “cure” myself, but I haven’t yet gotten to that point. I can’t understand why I can’t stop, since I want to stop. I’m ready to stop. But I can’t. Should be so easy. I get so tired of hearing people say, “this is only something that children do.” Where do I stand with all of this? When I starting harming, I was a child. I was 10. I’m 26 and I’m still sneaking off to do this, so what does that make me now?
everything you learn as a child and teenager you will know of as an adult… get the help. you need a support system
Silvrrmoon,
This simply makes you a human being. It is definately not something that children do, so whoever is telling you that is very very wrong. If it makes you feel any better I am in the exact same boat as you. The only difference is that I am in thereapy, with a diagnosed disorder, and on mes. For me it has been going on a long time. I might go a year or more with no “flair ups”, but then all hell will break loose in my life and the anxiety and the injuring come back. In my personal opinion it is an addiction. It is the first thing that comes to mind when something goes wrong, because it is calming and soothing. You do need a support system. Is there any way that you can see a therapist at least for a few visits? This is something that you can’t cure on your own. I tried until I was 24 and realized it was spiraling way out of my control. I don’t want it to do that to you. Please contact me anytime you need to talk. I will alwys listen.
Do you have a therapist? If you do not, I would suggest looking at the referral page here. You can also call your insurance or, if you do not have insurance, look for a local community counseling agency. After have a therapist, if you need more support I would suggest looking at other resources (group therapy, intensive outpatient treatment, etc) before you decide if you should or should not go to SAFE. Going to SAFE is going to require an enormous dedication of time, energy, and, likely, money. Before I interviewed to go to SAFE I was in a psychiatric hospital for 9 days, and two weeks of day hospital treatment. I was still self-injuring, and lucky enough to have a psychiatrist who knew admitting me back to the general inpatient unit would not be helpful. After SAFE I received many years of therapy and also went to a youth group home. I started self-injuring when I was 8, I am now 22 and have been in recovery for the last seven years. Some days it is a struggle, some days I would really like to give up.
SAFE is not a cure. All you can expect SAFE, or any other treatment center that focuses on self-harm, to do is give you an opportunity to learn the tools necessary to recover while getting a chance to receive therapeutic treatment in a supportive environment. Ultimately it is your decision to stop self-injuring and to be an active participant in your treatment.
I’m 46 years old and I’m still injuring. I started when I was 13 and have harmed myself in many ways. I think about other ways of dealing with my numbness, but injuring seems to be the only way I know how. In about 1 or 2 months I will be going to S.A.F.E. Alternatives to get the help everyone seems to think I need. I know it isn’t a cure, but I’ve been told by my therapist/psychiatrist this will be a stepping stone in them helping me and right now I need all the help I could get.
I am 25 and in the process of recovering from self-injury. No, you are not too old or too young to still self-injure — and it is never too late to start the recovery process, which often includes the slip-ups.
A month is huge for not hurting yourself! Congrats!!
SAFE is what you make of it. I want to go there and I know I could benefit from the program, but I can’t afford it. Have you read the book? Do you know what you are getting yourself into?? It will be what you put into it… will be what you can take from it. You have to do the work to get better and learn to let others help you. They cannot just sit on your hands and make you stop self-injuring — in fact, they won’t do it. Taking responsibility for our reactions is huge in terms of the recovery process.
Support systems are hard to come by and in recovery, you will find that support can and does come from many places. Not everyone has a therapist or a family to lean on or even many friends. Some people find strength in their faith too, but yet others go it without any ties spiritually/ religiously. There are many ways to face and work through recovery — you just have to know support can, does, and will come in many different ways (often ways we don’t want or need or like).
Recovery is about learning. Don’t be afraid of learning — I’m here if you ever want to talk… I’m in recovery everyday.