I started injuring myself a little over a year ago. At the beginning I wanted my injuries to be seen; I wanted people to know I was depressed. I wanted HELP. But no one did notice, although I can hardly blame them. My depression lifted and my superficial injuring stopped, at least for a little while. But as many of you probably know, depression does not usually cure itself. So, the injuring began again, and it was beginning to scare me. I wasn’t hurting myself for other people anymore, this was all about me. I am just so sick of not being able to cry and having to hurt myself to feel anything!!! I want my parents to leave me alone instead of making everything about what I put them through!
But mostly right now I just wanted to tell my story and tell everyone else out there that I have so much respect for you! So many of you have had it so bad and I think this site is just a good thing, a helpful thing.
[…] Original post by S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES® […]
that was kind of how my injuring began,at first, it was because there was a girl i liked, and she did… and i wanted to ahve something deep to connect with her on… but it got worse… it wasn’t for others anymore… it was because i needed an outlet. i really hope you can tell someone that can help you. you ahve people that love you. the SI may not send you to the hospital even though its not good for you, but the bulimia WILL. not maybe… it WILL… your rotting away your stomach and your esophagus and on top of that, your starving yourself. your going to wind up in a bad way really quickly. How selfish is it? think about your friends? how will they feel. put down the tool. and pick up a book. i personally recommend the bible, but most any book will do. You need something to distract you? reading will occupy hours apon hours of time. and some people with big white coats say its good for your noggin. eat with family. force yourself to do something in front of others immediatly after meals.
Even though you feel all alone, It cant rain everyday, it dont rain forever – P.O.D.
I know what it feels like to be depress and also an injurer . I thought I was doing it for other people, but I wasn’t I was doing it because I wanted to hurt myself. When I’m feeling good I think wow I’m not depressed and I am cured. Your right depression doesn’t have a cure and the only way that I do feel something is when I am injuring myself. I know that when I’m injuring myself I’m only hurting me, but with all the abuse I’ve had through out my life as sick as this may sound I feel like it normal because I don’t know any other way of coping. I guess in time I will find out there is a different way of life so until then.