i know what i did was bad,
i went and drank but then i found out a lot of stuff about my friend
she keep telling me that she wanted me to go away and run away and that no one wanted me around..

i know that was not true but what if it was TRUE?
but what if i am the girl everyone hates..

i need help i want help
but i can change with out help
i need no one help
no one need to know that i have a problem
no one.

but theres something about me that cant handle it anymore
but i am still hanging in there
its been about two weeks and no new injuries.
and the tools are completely gone
but what else
is there something else
i feel like i am missing things.
like i am missing something in my life

what is it

also..
i am tired of being fat..
i know that its bad but i have to be skinny..
i have to be perfect..
my dad wants me perfect..
and GUYS only like SKINNY girls
not FAT girls like me

life is being so hard..