i hate how this one boy has this control over me. its like im a robot and he has the remote to control me. but unlike most perople he deostn want to the remote he keeps trying to sell it to other guys that would treat it with more respect, but when someone gets close to buying it, he pulls back on it. and when he pulls back on it some of me breaks off.

i guess what im trying to say is that this one boy that im still in love with keeps hurting me. and everytime i go out with a new guy on a date or i get to know them or i think i might give tem a shot he does something to where i dont want to move on. its not always nice, actually 99.9% of the time its not nice. but it pulls me back in. and everytime that happens i get more upset and i cant move on.

i dont know what to do. its been almost 18 months since me and him broke up and i dont think there is any hope for me to move on. no, i know theres hope for me to move on but my heart wont let me. im trying to force my heart to let me move on but it just wont let me. it doesnt want to let go of what i had with him. what we had was special, at least to me anyway. he didnt give a crud about me, he never did he never will. i dont get it.

i gave him everything and now the girl he has now the only thing she deos is hurt him. she cheats on him. they went out for 8 months and she cheated on him 7 out of the 8 months they went out. its stupid. and they got back together, they have been together for about 4 months, she has cheated on him 3 out of the 4. she deosnt even care abnout him she cares about her ex and thats all she will ever care about. 

hes such a waste of my time, i know he is.  i swar i think he lives off of the tears i cry for him everyday. he says he wants me to get over him, but then he does someting that he knows hurts me and just pulls me back in. hes so confusing. i know me and him will never get back together . i hate him, no i dont hate him. i love him with all my heart. but if it wasnt for him, i wouldnt be the sad person i am now. i mean sure im awlays laughing and have a smile on my face, but do u know how much of that smile and laughter is fake? a lot!

i hate this!