i feel horrible. i had been doing really well with injuring, but then i did last night again. i couldnt help it. My friend said that he was gonna kill himself and i felt that it was my fault. When he wouldnt text or call me back i got so scared that i had lost him. so i injured. i didnt want to and i regret it but its like…i HAD to. Nobody understands me, or the reasons why i do it…so people need to stop telling me “it could be worse” or “its not that bad”….they have no idea. i need ways to release my anger, because injuring myself when i’m mad or feeling down isnt right.
does anyone have any advice on what i could do?
hey its okay i know what you mean when people say its ok its really not they just dont have any idea…you can talk to me when you want to SI i talk to stangers when i want to just so i can say stuff and not be judged…my e-mail is glittermonkey@comcast.net
This is where I am at when I want to self injure: “How is hurting myself going to help the overall outcome of the situation? Will it impact anyone but me? Will me hurting myself actually help ANYONE in the end?” I am struggling a lot right now, as I have gone almost 3months without SI (not all self injury, just some), and my stress levels have been extremely high lately. I have to ask myself these questions because me hurting myself doesn’t keep anyone else safe or even help me become clear enough in my head to help someone else who might be hurting.
You hurting yourself, won’t keep your friend alive (as I lost someone to suicide 3months ago). What will help keep that person alive is to tell someone what they told you and let them help your friend. You SI won’t make the pain of losing a friend any less, it will only amplify the situation because you will have the inner nightmare of dealing with the self injury and losing a friend. Yes, I hurt myself after I found out this person killed himself… but I also reached out for help and support from people around me so I didn’t have to do it as much. The self-injury wasn’t helping me deal with the situation in the long run, it was only making the present even more frightening and silent.
I do understand where you are coming from when people say others have it so much worse, but I also get angered when people tell me that because I now know it simply out of their misunderstanding/ ignorance/ denial that they say those things. Severity of trauma is not correlational to the degree in which we self harm, just like the degree to which we self harm is not correlational to the degree in which we are suffering and or in need help. Self injury is very mental and what we manage to express outwardly is not even close to what we feel and experience on the inside.
I dont know what ur going thrue, no one but you could ever know. all we can do empathise, and be hear for eachother. i know i like makeing things, like paper boats or airplains it just keeps my hands bizzy iv probibly made hundreds of them, its just something that helps me, i am so sory about ur friend troubbles, but his actions are not your falt, all you can do is be his friend and get him help if u think he needs, his life is his desishion. you are obveusly a verry caring person to feel so deaply for your friend and i realy do hope that your situation improves, i want you to know that i as well as menny others are hear and support you 100 %, we are lisening, and altho i dont know exactly how you feel i hear.
STAY STRONG!!! i know you can do this