i don’t know what to do. i injured. just enough so that it hurts until i can’t stand it. my mom just yells and yells and tells me how i’m a horrible person and i’m so selfish and mean to everyone. she just gets me so upset, and i start to believe her. i guess i agree with my mom, and i deserve this. I have little scars, and its getting so bad that im starting to have to hide them for the first time ever. i’ve injured for about 2 or 3 years but never as much as i have in the past few months. i told my mom after the second or third time i did it, years ago, but she told me to stop being dramatic. she didn’t even care. but then she said she was going to call people to “get me help”, but i know she was just bluffing so that i would stop complaining. she thinks i’ve stopped though, which i definately haven’t. it’s only gotten worse. i feel like i need to tell somebody, but i just can’t bring myself to do it. i don’t want everyone to make a big deal. i wish i could stop, but i’m actually starting to like the scars, which is scaring me. i feel like i’m crazy; this doesn’t even feel real. it’s like i’m watching a movie.
thoughts? much appreciated.
i’m just really upset right now.
i know how you feel.
i told my paretns and they just pushed me aside. im used to it by now. so i have come to believe i am crazy like my life is not spiraling out of control.
My family is very big on the whole idea of “tough love”. Even when I did something outstanding like pull a 96.5 overall average… make field hockey captian after only playing for a year… get a 36,000 scholarship to my first choice college… they responded with why not a 97? field hockey will give you cancer… why do you want to go to that college? Then on top of that they thought I was a mean, sneaky, heartless person. No matter what I did they always thought what I did was to somehow make them feel bad. They said I didn’t think of anyone but myself. I guess I started to believe them too. I starting injuring as a punishment to myself for being this horrible child who couldn’t ever be good enough. When i first injured i couldn’t believe it. Then I couldn’t stop and felt crazy like there was something wrong with me. You are NOT crazy you just handle things in a way in which society deems taboo. Yes, it feels surreal. I felt that way too. My SI got worse too. I think by liking the scars you feel satisfied that you have punished yourself for being “bad”. First of all don’t listen to the negative things your mom says. Don’t believe them either. I know thats hard but she’s not with you 24/7 she only sees how you act when around her and people have different perspectives. You should definately tell someone like a school guidance counselor or a friends mom. Goodluck!! =)
hi um if ur mom says ur mean and selfish,DONT believe her,i SI too i wouldn’t tell ur mom .u can talk to me if u want im glittermonkey@comcast.net