it have been a couple of days since i had injured but last night was again over whelming. I can’t control the urge to injure, but I injured and was relaxed but then other stuff was still floating around my head so bad to where i wanted to hurt myself more. It would have be all over. I was so confuse that I can’t remember what lead me to that point.

I have a great friend but I think I’m making it hard for her to help me. I think she feel like she is running out of ideal to help  me  stay safe. I know that people say it’s are choice to injure or not but I feel very over whelm if I’m  not in control over the situation, and when I’m not I injure. I want to be in control so bad. 

I have so many issue that’s knocking me down, that I don’t know which one to fight off first. I know one great friend that can help me but I’m afraid to call his name. I don’t think he would help me sometime, but the more I think about it, that it’s me,  self that’s stopping me. It’s making me think more about why I want to give it to my friend. I want to be free or whether in control of these issue when the come up with the help of Him.

Word of wisdom is the best medicine for me, I think. I think I’m stronger then what I think and that I can handle my issue if i give it to Jesus, that’s what my friend said. I believe that I’m just afraid to. But I love myself. Mybe i have to say that to my self that I love myself and that i’m special and God made no mistake when he made me.( that’s what you tell me) I believe that to

I want to stay safe. No more injuring, no more scars that will never go away and no more hiding that I have a problem and i need help. I need help! I need help!