i havent si’d in ten days, and i dont know how much longer i can go. at night, i am plagued with thoughts of si. i dream about it every night. it’s scary to me. my scars are fading, but i kinda like them. they are a part of me and i want people to see them because people need to know about this. my therapist says i have depression and anxiety, but he doesnt think i need meds. my mom wants me on something especially because of the anxiety, and she never wanted me or my sister on pills before. she thought that if her kids weren’t on pills, that she was a good mom. she is a wonderful mom, even if i do get put on meds. but recently, life has totally hated me. the whole seventh grade thinks im an emo freak who injures herself in the bathroom! i didnt injure in the bathroom, but i have injured at school. i know too many people who injure, and they all want to be friends with me. they just make me want to injure more. two people dont talk to me anymore because of my si issues. one of them injures herself too! my mind turns everything i see into something sharp. i have therapy tomorrow, and i think my therapist wants me in group, the way he talks about my si. im just a twelve year old girl! i really dont need to be even more of a freak! i was always the smart, ugly freak. now, i’m the smart, ugly, emo freak! ten days feels like forever!!