i just told my friend for the first time how SI all started for me… ive never told anyone the whole story before, and everytime i’ve told parts of it, the person i tell ends up hurting me really badly. i dotn think my friend will hurt me this time, but i said so much, i dotn know wat i would do if she did. she didnt get all of my story, but she got enough to understand. i wish i could really explain to ppl what i feel like, but i cant even describe it to myself.ive also really wanted to go out and by myself a tool. i keep telling myself its for my own good, but i know thats not true.

on another note, does anyone have any advice to help me with my thing for tracing? its getting worse. it mite not be a common thing for ppl to want to do, but its getting bad, and even drawing on myself with sharpie doesnt help much anymore.

any alternatives, advice, or support would be helpful.