today is the last day that I will be in school before spring break. As much as i hate school, i would rather be at school then at home. Some friends of mine invited me to go hang with them, but i still have to go home. plus i dont want to leave my best friend behind. But at the same time its like  icant take it anymore!!! everything is just so bad. My ex boyfriend emailed me last night to tell me that just because he is a guy, doesnt mean he wont understand some of the things girls feel and go through. But how can he understand if hes never been a girl to experiance what it feels like to go through some of the things!?!?! All the mixed emotions and feelings is just pulling me every which way right now…its like i have no idea what to do about them. Do i stay at home and stay with my best friend??? or do i leave and dont come back. I just can’t leave her here knowing that she will have to continue to deal with the lifestyle she goes through now… i just cant. I just wanna break down. i know sooner or later it will, everything will just hit me like a ton of bricks. My mom thinks im pyschotic because i never talk to her because everytime i do i either become a whore or skank or something along those lines…depends on the day i guess. I just wish that for a day, me and my friend could just  have a normal family life. I worry about her all the time now. Things her parents say and do, just trying to make sure that she’ll be ok. Then worrying about my lifestlye, its alot of emaotion and it alot of the time pushes me over the edge. i dont want her to think that its her fault, because ITS NOT!!!! she can always come to me and we always talk about things that are going on in our lives. At school most of the time its always her and I always talking, hang out because we are the only people who understand each other. But alot of the times we break, and the emotions just get to us to the point were we cant handle it….im just scared im going to loose my best friend if things get to bad.