Today is the last day before spring break… a whole week of nothing but parents and chores and HOME. I don’t want to go… I love school (I know that sounds crazy but there is a lot less stress/yelling here) and I would rather be here than at home. My dad wont speak to me and my mother doesn’t want to be the ‘interferer’. I hate that. She is angry at my biological grandmother (I was adopted) for not doing anything when my brother and I were being abused (sexually and physically, probably mentally considering the problems I have now…) but my mother (now) didn’t do anything when my dad was beating up my brother in our own house! How hypocritical is that?! but I can’t tell her that, I can’t tell her anything for fear of her blowing up on me… then i would probably tell her about my injuring, which would make a whole other bunch of problems. I don’t know what to do… she tells me she wants me to talk to her, but also to get along with my dad, neither of which I can do. My dad refuses to acknowledge that I exist, and my mother …. I can’t explain any of my feelings without bringing up the injuring issue… what am i supposed to do???
Okay I would suggest that you tell your mom about the injuring. I understand that you think it’s going to make more problems but you’d be surprised at what happens. I thought the same thing too about creating more problems but actually, I think its more of a wakeup call to parents more than anything. You should explain the SI to your mom like i know its going to be difficult i believe you can do it. Injuring is a really hard thing to deal with and it really only gets worse. You NEED to sort this SI thing out ASAP because you shouldn’t have to handle your emotions alone. I think you should also talk to your dad… find out why he acts like you dont exist. I think maybe both of you are just misinterpreting what eachother is thinking. But deff tell your mom about the SI. Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. Believe me the sooner you stop SI the better and ur mom can get you help for it. Sometimes things suck but you just have to thing of this in the long run. Getting it out in the open with ur mom sooner is better. I hope this helps!! YOU CAN DO IT!! =)