so… iv binn realy realy happy today.. and even for a wile yesterday… my boyfriend is home frome college and my reasearch paper is allmost done and i dont know i am happy… i am… but where as when im sad i only sometimes want to hert my self or when im realy realy upset i want to, im happy and i relay want to hert my self, but i didnt, mostly becouse i am afrade of how it would hert evry one my famly, my boys…(all 3 of my best and most of the time only frends are boys…im a girl)… i didnt want to hert them i want to get better, for me to, im saposto be happy right??? i mean… arent i happy… i think i am, i feel happy for the first time in a realy realy long time, like legit happy, and yet i still am iching to hert my self, if ennything much worce than ever befor… im so confused… feel so happy yet im craving it so bad… i can go along time resisting, but it only lasts so long, im so afraid im going to hert myslef agen, normly i have more time between cravings,,, im scared that im getting worce when im saposto be geting better… i realy do think im happy