hey, i no im not the only one to think this or go through this, but i had to go to the doctor today, and i was told many ppl with the same conditions as i do can control their behavior, and i should try to do that for a while before i come back. i have been trying, very hard, for a long time. so my rents were talking to me tonite, and they dont no if i need to start seeing a counsilor now. i dont know how to tell them i need to, without disappointing them. they agreed to let me go a couple times so i could get new coping stratagies, but i dont know how much longer it will last after that. im so scared to go in the first place, but i want to get better so bad, and i dont know if i can do it on my own. ugh, i hate being so weak…
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK, it is scary and its ok to be scaied, you want help so badly and you know what you have to do, say something. your so brave for being able to admit that you cant do it on your own and i admire you for that more than you will ever know, you can do this, you want it badenuf and you are strong enuff, wether you know it or not
STAY STRONG
you can do this
thanks EB….i jsut really hate this. y did i even have to start in the first place?
i ask myself that allmost evry daynow… i can think of so menny stuped reasons but onistly none of them are good enuf… i just keep telling myself that its my life and i am going to get thrue this…
i keep saying it, altho im honistly still wating for me to boleve it, i say it hoping that this time i will just know it is true, WE CAN DO THIS, i just know it, we have to u know???
i guess i no, but i didnt even realize wat i was doing wen i first started si-ing (if thats even a word) and now im trying to figure out if i need to go away somewhere to some kind of treatment program, since my record for going without some type of self destructive behavior for the past couple months is about 3 days, and it reached an all time low today wen i cut in the middle of class. i felt pathetic, and i feel bad for making my friends see me so messed, u no?
do u think it would be good for me to go away for an inpatient thing for a while? i no u dont know me really, but as someone who is going through something similar, do u think it would make a significant positive contribution to my life?
id love anyones input on this!
… me agen (i dont know if ur geting bord of my impoot but hear it is ennyway) to be ohnist with u iv only si-ed (now im doing it) when i was alone once, iv done it in class, with friends, out and in my owne home… in the same room with my little brother who means the world to me (no one ever notesed). i got extremly scared when i si-ed alone. i dont think your pathetic at all even if u feel so. and i can amagin how ur feeling alltho i dont know u that well, i made my boyfrend cry, i never felt so undeserving of love as when that happend. i relay think that you need to do what ever you can to make a chainge, if what your doing right now isent working then yes maybe you should, do what you think will make the diffrents. if u honistly boleve that this program will work for you then go for it…(plezz let me know what you diside, and sory if i shared to much, i like posting with u)
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE AT LIFE!!!! there are other programs im shore if you want to go away, i dont know of enny spicificaly but i will help you look vea interweb if you want… youve tryed other things and thay havent worked, you know that and you know that something has to chainge, perhaps this is the change you need……. u know i actualy never used a rasor or ennything, i am to afraid (altho i think i may be nearing that point) i always use like hair pins wich i gave to one of my best frieds, he is an EMT(wich comes in handy) i havent asked for them back and im a creacher of habbit so i sereusly hesitate befor i use enny thing els wich helps me control myself. i know better than to ask for them back becouse he knows what i used the contents of the little blue bag for, and i know that if i ever where to ask for them back he would probibly pick me up and drive the 1and 1/2 hours to the hospital and tell on me.him knowing what i was giving him makes all the diffrence, now atleast i can go for a longer period of time but… i have to edmit it hasent worked exactly, it realy is a good try and i probibly would have done the same thing if awere relationship wasent the way it is. (backround: hes a boy whos like 6 foot and strong im a girl whos like 5’2-5’3 and not at all strong, but he is one of my best frends, he might aswell be my older brother the way we treat eachother) now back frome my tangent… i realy think you should do it, even if it dosent work you did something, thats admerable at the verry least, even if you dont go thrue the SAFE program there are others out there you know, and agen id be happy to help you search.
STAY STRONG!!
@kittkat: Ur not alone. I’m sure your friends would like to help u get thru this… Just remember that u cant do it alone. i no i have had a lot of help from my friends when i ask for it. good luck, and as EB said, STAY STRONG.
i guess, its just hard to ermember some times. there arent really any in the city i live in, i can go just out of town, and they apparently havwe a good place there, but the only times ive been in hospitals are when either i was being tested for horrible deadly diseases, i was going in because i was really sick, or someone i loved was dying or deathly ill. i like avoidign them if i can, but im gonna give it another week and see how i am then i think (thats wat i said last week and last year).
i wish i was as picky as u.
thanks for everything!
i can only encerege you to try some thing new it is your choice but if you need to post like this agen or want help searching for progeams or ennyting realy, im hear. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts plezz keep doing so. AND STAY STRONG.
thanks both of y’all for listening, and letting me know someone is there…it helps alot!
hey, i no wat u mean, one of my friends now thinks hes a horrible friend, no matter wat i say to tell him differently, because i asked him to do me a favor, and take something from me, and i had a total breakdown and asked for it back, and he didnt realize until recently that i SI, and that had been my tool.
i dont have a little brother, but ive done it in front of my rents, my favorite uncle, ive done it in my friends bathrooms during their birthday parties, ive been ___ for days without stopping without telling anyone anything is wrong. i got bodily fluid all over my science class, but managed to pass it off as an accident (which it was).
my parents keep asking me if im even trying, because im doing so horribly at stopping, and im trying so hard i break down crying at random moments because its too much to handle and i dont know who to turn to.
ive seriously considered suicide a few times, but ended up too tired to actually follow through on any plans. im a total disapointment to myself, my family, and some of my friends. as one of them would put it “im a failure at life” and i want it to end, but i dont know if going to an inpatient thing would help, because the last time i was in therapy it didnt at all.
ugh, im starting to rant again, sorry!
and dont worry EB, im not tired of u at all, i love ur advice!
the other thing is that if i do go to an inpatient program, my parents arent going to want to send me as far away as all the SAFE programs are.
talk to y’all later!
you might be afraid of disappointing your parents, but I’m sure they would be more disappointed if you get worse. Trying to get better is HELPING you, and they need to understand that it is extremely difficult to do alone. A counselor is a great thing, someone to talk to, let out your feelings, and they have gone to college and know how to help you professionally. Keep working at it, I know you can do it! I’m here if you need me!
We all know if is hard to reach out for the help, but you can do it. Once you build that support system around you through your openess about your coping strategies and problems, it will get easier to manage. A good therapist and doctor is a great start. Good luck and stay strong, you are worth it.
thanks, im trying, and it was decided i can see someone in a 2 weeks instead of 4…i dunno if thats good or not though. im so scared…
Someone once told me that if everything in life was easy it wouldn’t be worth fighting for. I know that you are scared, but I believe in you and you don’t even know me yet. I see yourself in my life and I made it, so will you. Best wishes and safety.
awwww, thank you, thats so sweet! and totally true…
As human beings, the best trait we have is not to fall, but to get back up again when we do.
So you’ve slipped up, I gather. Well, some of the greatest things in life are second chances.
You’ve been granted one; a chance to get help from someone. You may not like that you have to get help, or that you need help, but still. Even if the shrink is someone you HATE to see, try and remember that they’re still there to help.
As I said before, try and open up to someone…. even something. It doesn’t have to be your parents, doesn’t have to be your shrink. Just try and let out all those feelings, whether to a friend or to a journal, even. It’s when you bottle those feelings up that the real danger starts.
Have faith, and remember the love that people in your life hold for you.