im so so nervice, i have my first apoint ment with a sicologist on thersday, and i have no idea what im going to say…i am saposto call my boyfriend after and tell him how i am, and my frend is going to call me 5 min befor my apointment to makeshor i didnt chicken out, if i did hes going to come get me and take me there by force, atleast thats what he ses ( i think he would). im just realy nervice. then tonight my boyfriedn called and sed he is coming home this weekend and how he cant wait to see me, and i was exsited but mor than that i kinda wish i had more time befor he came home. he has seen my scars and old injuries befor but never like this, im so scaired, last time  i gave in to the earge he thretened to transfer to a school near by which is pointless becouse im going away to college next year enny way. im so scared that hes going to mess up his life becouse of me, i know how much it herts him when i have a laps and he and my other friend are probibly the two most emportant reasons im going on thersday or even on this site, i dont know if i could ever do something so scarie if it was only for me no matter how badly i want it. i have not idea what to do… about my nervs for the doc or my homecoming boyfriend or even that silly scolership dinner, my amedeet reaction is to do the one thing that makes everything worce.