One of my big triggers lately has been work – my work environment. I am attempting to change my work environment by drastically changing hours, which should help, but physically being in the building and “doing what I do”… triggers me. I work at a call center that helps deaf and hard of hearing people talk on the phone.
I know some of the reasons I feel triggered at work is because I believe my job is unstable. The management has gone through a lot of changes lately and many people who have worked there for years and years and years have either gotten new jobs, have quit all together, or just been straight out fired. I am afraid to mess up, which makes me anxious, which decreases my overall work performance — which then puts my job in jeopardy.
I know work is one of my major triggers and I don’t want to continue hurting myself there, which I unfortunately have gone back to doing. I am ashamed to say it, but I actually self-injure at work sometimes and that bothers me greatly. I will use whatever I have on hand to hurt myself, but not taking ANYTHING to work that could hurt me would be out of the question (anything can be a tool for me).
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to continue to work through my triggers at work? I just feel very out of control when I am there – I don’t know how else to explain it. I have things to do to keep my hands busy (crochet and my writing notebook). I am thinking about bringing in Impulse Logs and working through those too, as I am not ashamed at all of working those in public or wherever I am! They are there to help me, not hurt me.
Does anyone else have trouble with their place of employment being one of their biggest triggers? If so, how do you cope without hurting yourself?