OK, so after one major relapse back on New Year’s Eve, which I now realize I did on purpose because of my fear of getting well, I have 64 days “clean” of self-injury. Whereas before that number would have scared me, made me feel sad about leaving self-injury behind, I feel excited. I’m becoming a new person. I no longer have to have my identity wrapped up in being “the sick one.” One of my greatest fears when I graduated SAFE was that I wouldn’t be anybody without the self-injury. I was afraid that it had become such a part of me that I would have no personality without it. That fear stayed with me for awhile, and still creeps up every now and then, but wow, I’m finding a personality I never knew I had. I actually have hobbies. I have interesting things to say. I have strength. I have kindness to offer to others. Once I got stopped giving in to the urges to self-injure (in any fashion) I found who I was meant to be all along. My point in all this isn’t to brag about what a great person I am, because that is not true. But I am a normal, imperfect being who isn’t too bad after all. And I just want to celebrate that feeling with people who might understand what an accomplishment this is for me. I hope I can offer encouragement to others who have completed the program and may have some of the same fears and anxieties that I had/am still having at times.
Thanks for listening!
Ashley
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! You deserve this i don’t know you but I know that you deserve this!!!!!!
Dearest Ashley!!
CONGRATULATIONS!! I am so very proud of you and your obvious accomplishments. I am personally aware of your intense inner strength. I know that you have the strength, courage, wisdom, and HOPE to keep moving forward in your recovery. From the bottom of my heart, I am proud of you. You have continued your healing after your graduation. You have ‘confronted’ life and won. You are wonderful, beautiful, amazing, and above all… INSPIRATIONAL!!
Lots of love,
Sharon
Sharon,
Have I told you lately that I love you? Cuz I do.
Ashley
That is amazing!! I am on day 61 without cutting, so I can understand the feeling… which is thrilling, yet scary at the same time. I dream of being able to go just a week without any form of self-injury, but right now all I can do is eliminate one behavior at a time.
I am so glad your experience at SAFE changed your life. You sharing this means a lot to those of us like ME who are waiting to be able to go. I dream about a life without self-injury and it means a lot for me to hear from someone who has gone about the same number of days I have talk about it.
Thank you for sharing because it means the world to me right now. I have been so close to cutting lately and your words TODAY have really challenged those thoughts! Thank you, I appreciate you, and am grateful for being able to read your words today.
Keep inspiring through your honesty — I know I need reminders that there is actually life after self-harm. Thank you for posting!! Your words are a blessing and I needed to read them today!
*hugs*
Cassandra