i dont realy know how to do this or even what im doing… my boyfriend gave me this site and i am doing it becouse i think it might help… but im also doing it becouse i know it will make him feel a little better about being so far away(he is away at college). iv never realy done ennything like this befor and i dont even know if ennyone els can read this but if u can you should probibly know im dislexic so my spelling and gramer are pridy bad (sory). im 17 years old and will be attending college some where in augist. i dont want to be injuring wile im in college…i dont want it when i get older…. i dont want it now.
i started in late augist 2006 i think… i can go munths without wich is realy good but just when i think im done i just keep going back…. im afraid that this addiction will never end… the thought just reasintly set in that it is an addiction. i have two yonger siblings and this is not the example i want to set for them… i want them to be proud of me…. so when i disided to tell my parence…. i made them promis that my siblings wont find out if we can help it. i dont know if thats an erashinl request or not. just to night my mother told me that i have an apointment witha DR. next thersday… my bigist fear is that she/he will have to report me or something and my sister will find out. my mom told the DR. that i was having angsity about going away to school… she dosent think its an addiction i think she thinks that i make the choice, and i ges i do but im not realy shor to what extent. im terifid of the outcome, im terifid that if i dont go ill get worce, or actualy cause some seryus damige. im so so scared. and have no idea what to do or even how to go about it.i dont know is it rong to be scared??? i mean i did kinda choos this right??? i mean u chose it take the risk the first time right and i just got bad results???…i think the toughfist part is that she realy thinks that i chose it that its for attenshin or something…. it herts that she has no ida who i am-or how to help me….. i hadent hert myself since early december till this tuesday…. she asked me tonight when the last time was and i re aimed the conversation…. she wont understand, and it wont do enny good, atleast i dont think it would. i dont know how this works so i think thats fine for now…im prity shor ill b typing later