It sounds like most folks are having a pretty rough time. I can relate to that as I injured this week myself, however, I saw my therapist today and yesterday and she reminded me of who I was when I was happy and not injuring. I found a ray of hope and remembered that there was a time when I didn’t injure and didn’t have to hold on to the tool to make it through a day. I sat down with my partner and told her that I was injuring, expecting her to runaway, but she didn’t. So there are some upshots in an otherwise dreadful week. I have been very depressed this week and overwhelmed with work, but it feels nice to remember who I was and who I might be able to be again. To not injure I have to be in charge of who I am and not let the demons tell me how awful I am. The memories and flashbacks have been out of control and if I can just remember during those times that they are only memories and they can’t hurt me now then I can get through without injuring. I am again just rambling but I want you all to know that you are beautiful people and we can get through these urges one day at a time. I may have relapsed but it was a mistake, I have to find that part of me that has inner beauty and love for myself. Be SAFE.
Thanks for the words of encouragement! Aren’t good therapists awesome?! Mine is my hero! I call her my angel because she watches out for me so much. I would be lost without all the skills I’ve learned in therapy.