It sounds like most folks are having a pretty rough time.  I can relate to that as I injured this week myself, however, I saw my therapist today and yesterday and she reminded me of who I was when I was happy and not injuring.  I found a ray of hope and remembered that there was a time when I didn’t injure and didn’t have to hold on to the tool to make it through a day.  I sat down with my partner and told her that I was injuring, expecting her to runaway, but she didn’t.  So there are some upshots in an otherwise dreadful week.   I have been very depressed this week and overwhelmed with work, but it feels nice to remember who I was and who I might be able to be again.  To not injure I have to be in charge of who I am and not let the demons tell me how awful I am.  The memories and flashbacks have been out of control and if I can just remember during those times that they are only memories and they can’t hurt me now then I can get through without injuring.  I am again just rambling but I want you all to know that you are beautiful people and we can get through these urges one day at a time.  I may have relapsed but it was a mistake,  I have to find that part of me that has inner beauty and love for myself.  Be SAFE.