Today i was at home having a ok day but later that day my mood change and i injured. This time i might have infected my finger. Like i said I’m a diabetic and injuring my self can lead to infection. My friend said i might need to go to the hospital but I told her I was ok, but deep down i was afraid of what they might try and do. I feel really really bad. I just want to scream……….
I’m glad you posted again and let us know…you are not alone. Many of us give in to the urges and end up cutting. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.
That said, please make sure you are o.k…as in not infected! At least go to a general dr. or a walk-in type clinic tomorrow to make sure. Your safety is the most important thing! And don’t you have two girls? How will you care for them if you are hospitalized for an infection?! Their safety is important, too!!
It’s not time to worry about what the hospital will do to you or being out of control. When you are to the point where you feel that you have to cut yourself, and you can’t stop yourself from cutting you are already out of control, and you need help.
I don’t think you need to be hospitalized…I hate hospitals, and the psych wards never seem to help people much. But I do think you need to find yourself a good therapist who understands cutting, and commit to seeing him/her on a regular basis. Or maybe consider the SAFE program. At least buy the book they recommend called “Bodily Harm” and try some of the exercises in it. I also recommend Dialectical Behavior Therapy.