Hi my name is Connie. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for several years. I was also diagnosed with PTSS after my husband was killed. I just started injuring in Jan. I am in so much emotional pain I injure every day and if I see my therapist I sometimes injure more. I do not want any of my family to find out, yes my therapist knows. I was in Respite for it for 9 days, I believe it didn’t help much. I have been obsessing about my early childhood (I am 44). Maybe this is what is making me injure. I am so confused about my emotions. I for one can not express them so I hold them in until I do something stupid. I see most of you have injured for several years, I already have so many scares just in 2 months. How will I ever stop this night mare.
Connie
Hi,
Welcome. I’m sorry to hear about your pain!! I’m sorry to hear about the cutting. I’m glad you’re seeking help. As you may have picked up from others on this board…NOTHING good comes from injuring. It’s like alcohol or drugs…it just screws you up further.
That said, we totally understand why you would do it! There’s no judgment here from us…we’re here to listen and support.
I’m 30 yrs. old, and I have a lifetime of abuse behind me. My grandfather started sexually abusing me when I was only 18mo. old. Then my father, then my mother physically and emotionally abused me, then my youth minister sexually abused me as a teenager, then last Dec. I got raped…it just never ended. I have been in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for 10yrs. If I were to focus on my childhood in therapy I would never make it out alive. I have so much stuff that happened to me…it’s no wonder I started injuring to deal with the pain!
Personally, I focus on the present, and how to have a life worth living now. My therapist and I work on skills I can use right now when I have urges to harm myself or when bad feelings and strong emotions come up for me. We also work on improving my current relationships, and building in pleasant activities, and accomplishing goals so that my life is happier in general, and I have less times when I get overwhelmed with negative emotions. It works for me…I’m not saying it’s for everyone…
Good luck to you, and please keep us posted on how you are!