Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to check in.  I was really struggling last night b/c I was hit with a lot of bad news yesterday.  It turns out that I have an STD from when I was raped back in December.  That just burns me up.  And I also found out my 3 yr. old son needs surgery for the second time…

I wanted to curl up and die.  I wanted to injure.  I wanted to be destructive.  And then my son decided to poop on the floor!!!  Then I wanted to hurt him!!!

What I did instead of self-harm and other-harm:  I took my son to a friends house.  I went to Target and tried on clothes (Who would have guessed Target has cute clothes?!).  I picked up my son, left him with my husband, curled up in bed, watched a DVD, and ate an ice cream float for dinner.  And then we had friends over last night, and I moaned to them about how my life is so terrible, and they surrounded me with love and understanding.  Then I went to bed and slept 10 hrs. straight.

And what do you know…I feel o.k. today!!  I wouldn’t say I feel good…but I’m not thinking about S.I.!!

And thank God for this blog!!