not sure why i am here other than i need someone who understands and can offer support.  I have had major impulses all day and all i can think about is self harm.  I long for relief from this pain that I feel inside.  I have been having nightmares and flashbacks and I seem to get out of control when those things happen.  I know that self injury isn’t the answer, but i feel so lost without it.  I want to share with my partner what is going on but I often feel rejected by her when the topic of self injury comes up.  She doesn’t understand it, and then makes it about her.  I am just rambling, trying to make sense out of my thoughts.  I want to just injure and am trying so hard not to do it.  I am a social worker and feel often that I should just be over this already, but I fight the battle every day.   I want my therapist to know how bad I am feeling, but I am often unable to communicate what I am feeling to her.  The nightmares are bad and the flashbacks are so real.  I can feel the abuse all over again and it makes me just freaking insane.  I don’t know how to get through these times safely…well i guess i do, but it is so hard.  I feel like a child at this point and just want someone to hold me and take care of me…longing for comfort.