Hi, I’m 15 and have injured twice I know that it doesn’t sound like a lot but the times I have thought about injured are far far more. I have 3 best friends but I don’t let myself get to close to them in fear of being hurt. I hate it when were with a big group and everyone has someone to talk to but I don’t so there I am standing or sitting or whatever drift sometimes to what I hope my future will be. Finding the perfect guy who loves me for me will understand injuring and will be my best friend and truly my best. My one friend (one of my best) can talk to a guy who’s hurt her many times and tells him things that she doesn’t tell us. I’m not a jealous person but maybe if she told me her secrets I could tell mine. Because I’m to let our that I’m an injurer but I’m also even more acrid of rejection, hatred, it getting out to EVERYONE plus my family!!!!! I was hugged by my cousin on Saturday she trusts me to watch her son (which is a big thing because she likes to always be with him- she’s not overprotective) and I never wanted to let go because I felt wanted and I wanted to break down in tears and let it all out. I need to tell someone but I can’t tell my parents because mom emotionally and verbally abuses me. Plus it would get around my whole family which I can’t have. I wanna tell a friend but how do I know if I can trust them? How do I know I won’t be rejected? How do I break down my walls and let them in? How do I overcome depression? HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Its very hard to break down your walls depression is quite a bit harder to overcome. I have depression and its so frustrating. If you are a christian or atleast believe on God. Lean into him pray about these things. If your friends are really true friends they will except you no matter what you will just know that you can tell them.
If you trust your cousin enough tell her. She seems like she will be excepting of you. You have to tell someone no matter what. I didnt tell me mom cuz i just got sent to counseling and yelled at alot she found out through one of my friends and she told my mom. Bad way for my mom to find out. But besides that please tell someone before it gets out of hand. I have been struggling with self injury and depression for the last 5 years. It is so hard. Keep posting and let us know how things go. If you ever need anyone to talk with im here on the blog almost everday.
Liz
Remember one important thing: “This, too, shall pass. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but this moment will pass. This year will pass. You will grow up and find the happiness you’re looking for if you seek help and work for it. I was 15 once, too, and in a similar place. I had parents who refused to see me, didn’t give a you know what about my cutting, and no friends to speak of. I felt so so so alone in the world. I’m 30 now, and I have a beautiful 3 yr. old son, and a husband of 10yrs. I met my husband the first day of college freshman orientation, and we’ve been together since. And while my cutting hurts him deeply, and he will never “understand” why I do it, he supports my recovery. I am finally not alone. Honestly, the only way I made it through my childhood and teenage yrs. was by having a personal relationship with God. God was my everything while I waited for my husband and real friends to come along. My whole life I’ve only ever wanted a family to love and be loved by, but I had wait a very long time to get it. I developed many unhealthy coping behaviors, such as cutting, while I was waiting to ease the pain. Those behaviors only brought me more problems, and take away from my happiness now. So if you can not cut and get help so you don’t have to do anything unhealthy I really recommend it!!! And I also really encourage you to find your spiritual self…it doesn’t have to be the traditional church…God is so much bigger than that! Personally, I call God, “AbbaSadie.” The Abba means father, and the Sadie means sad lady. God to me is the father and mother I never had, especially the mother who comforts me. And she is sad lady because she holds all of my pain, and all of the world’s pain. That’s just one way I make my spirituality personal. I also do more traditional things like read the Bible.
And like Liz said above, people are always at this blog to listen!