I tried. I honestly tried not to hurt myself tonight. I took a bath. I called a friend. I listened to the sound of her voice. But somehow it just wasn’t enough. I still had to do it.  Not bad at all. But still. I did it. And I wish I hadn’t. I don’t know why sometimes I can control my urges but other times I just can’t. It’s so hard now because I know it’s not good for me. I am trying to quit it all together. Yes, it provides me with temporary relief from the exausting amount of anxiety and pain that I feel on a day to day basis, but it is a quick fix. I need to do it again and again. It’s like a drug for me. It always does the trick but only for a while. It hurts my family. I have to try to hide it now since I told them I have stopped. Please, someone, tell me you UNDERSTAND.