I am not sure how to begin. It pains me to even have to post this. However, it is not a sign of weakness that one asks for help (or so I have been told….)
All has been well since I came home from SAFE in November. There have been many obstacles and challenges. I met them all with vigor. I had made concrete plans while at SAFE on how to deal with my life when I returned.
I am still working towards my goals. However, right now, at this moment, I feel desperation like I have not felt in months. A seering, piercing, burning desperation ravaging my body and soul.
I don’t really know where it came from. Well, that’s is not entirely true. I have had some compliance issues with my meds (although, it REALLY wasn’t my fault… I ran out of meds while waiting for weeks on my mail order meds). And I received an email from my ex earlier in the evening. So, that probably has a bit to do with it. I am a bit ‘unbalanced’ as is, due to the med issue, and then toss in an emotion monkey wrench.
Things have been going really well. I mean, not fantastic, but well enough. Normal. But right now, I just don’t know. And I don’t know why it is that I don’t know.
I am sorry for even posting this. Hope that this message finds everyone healthy and SAFE.