OK, so I hate to unload on everyone but I have no one else to talk to that might possibly understand. I’m just having a really hard time right now. I haven’t injured (in any fashion) so that’s good but I feel so lost. I know it sounds stupid but I feel so totally empty without self-injury as a part of my life. I feel like I have no identity or personality. No way to express myself or just be myself. I feel like I gave up all my “vices” (self-injury, eating disorder, pills, etc.) and I don’t like what I found underneath all those masks. A boring, uninteresting, blank….nothing. I’m working a lot and hanging out with friends and family and pretending to be fine but I literally feel like I’m in mourning. I miss self-injury so BADLY. Will this fade? I hope so. Because I don’t know how long I can hold on.
Sorry to complain so much, I just needed to get that off my chest.