oh goodness
Posted by Thoughtspiller on September 13th, 2012
im overwhelmed. im sick. im tired. i want to si. i havnt had an urge like this in a while. i just want to feel something other than sick. I was totally fine! all of a sudden this morning i had a sore throat. now my head is stuffy. now my nose is running. now i fee llike im dying! oh did I mention my family is having a large party JUST FOR ME this saturday!?!?! As if I wasnt stressed out over school, work, and just life in general ( oh ya and my weight, always weight), I have this party. And tahts ok. I dont mind. Like…i love it, I deserve this because I worked so hard towards this degree which is why I get this party. but im sick. i get this miserable cold right when i need to be ready. a few days where i need to be able to multitask and my body gives up. its like a sign my body hates me. it hates me for what ive done to it. it hates me for the scars that cover me.
UGH! ok enough with that. but I am sick and tired. i miss si. its been a while. ive been good. its been a while. such a long while. i just want it. I just want to get out of bed to si. but I cant…and I wont. Im going to sleep. sleep seems to help. oh god I hate myself right now. i hate my body. i just hate everything in general.
One Response to “oh goodness”
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Don’t hate your self. You are who you are you don’t have to be skinny, you don’t have to be pretty, you don’t have to be what you think this world wants you to be You just have to be you and live your life for you . That sounds selfish I know but no one has to put up with what you do. So you just have to learn to do what works for you to keep your head above water so to speak. I don’t worry about my self I just keep thinking about other people that need my help then I don’t have time to get caught up with really how depressed and lonely I am. We all miss self injury I know I do . Just know your not the only one going through this. We are all in this together as lame and weird as that sounds its true. I know you can get through this if you need some extra support or just someone to listen to you shoot me a email.
blueyedginger717@hotmail.com