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Posted by barista.steph on June 28th, 2012

I am having anxiety attacks again, but this time I have to deal with it without the prescriptions to help, I guess that’s kind of a small consequence of my substance abuse. I was riding in the car with my girlfriend and that’s when I started to feel it. It had been building since this afternoon and I calmed down until we were driving. My hands got really cold and y legs felt heavy and weak and numb and I got nauseas and my hands got all shaky and my insides started feeling everything. In those moments I feel like my five senses go into super mode and I am sensitive to every move, sound, touch…etc. and the part I hate the most, my chest feels heavy and I FEEL like I can’t breathe. I’ve gone to the hospital before for this and it’s really embarressing when they say my oxygen level is actually at 100%. Usually these attacks “break” like a fever does, with crying. Had I let that happen I could probably feel relief now but I didn’t because I was angry. Self injury used to be my answer during an
Anxiety or panic attacks-I used I as a way to focus and distract myself from what I was feeling. It was perfect and it was comforting. It was my first thought, but I had no urge to actually do it.

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