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Archive for "Adults Connection"

trouble exerting authority for fear of daughter hurting herself

Posted by rlock | May 13th, 2015

We are very new to self injury, my daughter has started therapy, both parents trying to be loving and nonjudgmental. My problem as the mom is I’m having trouble exerting my authority because I’m afraid to stress her out and give her a perceived reason to SI. As a result, she is running the show, so to speak, not following the therapists recommendations ( no social media). Any suggestions? This is a hard struggle for the whole family. Thank you


Step 1

Posted by tryingtochange | April 24th, 2015

Well first I would like to say that I am new to blogging and any kind of therapy; but I want to change. I’ve known for awhile that I need help!!! Let me start by¬†telling a little bit about myself. I am 22 years old, I¬†began injuring when I was 11 years old two years after the event. It was easy to hide in a family of 7 there was really no¬†one on one time with anyone. So I went three years¬†without telling anyone and just slowly wasting away. Playing sports, making sure my grades were¬†up to¬†par, keeping my parents happy, and harboring the event¬†became more and¬†more stressful.¬†It all became to much and I took what was left of¬† my bottle of medicine.¬†It wasn’t enough it¬†I didn’t even pass out, I got sick for like two days got very sick nd sweating out of control.¬†¬†I haven’t injured in 5 years but now I’ve moved on to another type of S.I. This method is more discrete and doesn’t allow anyone to have any sort of suspicion. IDK! For some reason it makes me feel better. Almost like forcing all the crazy thoughts of my mind. My boyfriend of 5 years has been my rock in this changing process but I know that I cant allow my change to be surrounded around him because GOD forbid we break up I will spiral out of control and it isn’t healthy for our relationship either so that leads me to this. How do I STOP the thoughts and STOP the S.I????? Any advice will help.


down the rabbit hole

Posted by losinglosingit | April 23rd, 2015

i’m 30. ive been using self-harm to cope since i was 11. i injure in multiple ways and do other random things to cause myself pain. i get so frustrated and half of the time i really do just want to curl up and quit. im tired of everything. life isnt fair, and i know it isnt supposed to be, but no matter how good i do or what positive changes i make, i still always seem to lose. i lose everything and everyone. my whole life it seems i have been punished for things i didnt do. i try to keep faith and hope, knowing that i havent done whatever i am being accused of and waiting for the truth to prevail, but it rarely does. the women in salem knew they were innocent, but at the end of the day they were still killed on the stake. thats how my life goes. i know im good, but what does that matter if the rest of the world doesnt and treats me accordingly? i keep losing.

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at a loss

Posted by myRoo | April 20th, 2015

Background:¬† I am the mother of¬† an intelligent, charismatic, ¬†funny, outgoing,¬† ¬†good looking 25 year old young man.¬† His dad and I have been married 31 years, and¬†we also have a 17 year old son.¬† We all get along very well.¬† ¬†He has his BA in Economics with a¬†minor ¬†in Business, with a goal of one day¬†owning his own restaurant.¬† He¬† has been unable to secure a job in his field due to¬†a lack of 3 years experience, which¬†seems to be a requirement for the jobs he has been applying for.¬† ¬† For the past few years he has been working with patients¬†suffering from¬†Traumatic Brain Injury.¬†¬†The pay in this field isn’t near what it should be, and meanwhile he is paying¬† on his student loans.¬† ¬†He is a kind and compassionate person.¬†He is searching for employment in his field.¬† Yesterday his girlfriend of¬†two ¬†years told me in confidence that he, on occasion, becomes overwhelmed with the struggle of it all and will self injure. ¬†It started 10 years ago when he was wresting in High School and was frustrated by his performance.¬†¬†¬†It ¬†has happened several times since then, apparently both when sober and¬†after having consumed alcohol. ¬†¬†¬† I am heartsick.¬†¬† She has encouraged him to talk to me, or someone, and he has said he would, but has not as of yet.¬† He is embarrassed by this behavior, she said.¬† Do I confront him?¬† Wait for him to come to me?¬† The consequences are daunting, and he could potentially end up like one of the people he takes care of!¬† I don’t understand…He runs, does yoga, loves music, anything outdoors¬†and ostensibly ¬†loves life.¬†¬† I believed he had good, healthy coping skills.¬† ¬†I was shocked and saddened to find that wasn’t the case.¬† ¬† Can anyone give me suggestions?

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step of desperation

Posted by bria | April 15th, 2015

Crisis lines magnify my anxiety and shame and I’m not ready for group therapy, but I need to say something, ¬†I need a response because I’m afraid of what I’m doing to myself.

I don’t know what, if anything, ¬†I expect to gain from this but it’s better than giving up right?

I am lonely, ¬†but I’m surrounded by people who love me and want to see me better. My boyfriend tries so hard but I have personalitydisorders that inevitably cause me to push him and others away. ¬†I don’t know what feels worse; not having someone but wanting the company, ¬†or having someone who loves me only for me to self sabotage with all my irrational reasoning.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday and I still feel as insecure as I was when I was 12 y/o and beginning a cycle of self harm. With the emotion running hight the past two weeks,  I engaged in the SI behavior today.

To clarify, July ’14, ¬†I moved to a new city to be with the person I love thinking it was a grand romantic gesture. A fun new adventure. ¬†It wasn’t the sole reason but an incredible motivation to think I found love. Yet, 10 months later, I am basically friendless, ¬†took a less pay and fewer hours at my new job, and am in unfamiliar surroundings.

I’m currently in weekly counseling sessions but it’s the in between time that is the worst. My mind and imagination become an oubliette, it feels so dark, deep and inescapable.

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Family Doctor

Posted by pepperpeter33 | February 18th, 2015

Friday i have to see the family doctor on a check up and he will notice my injuring and am scard about what he will do. i just started to injure again after 10 yrs of not injuring. I just hope my doctor is understanding of it and wont flip out.


S.A.F.E. Alternatives App

Posted by karenceo | February 3rd, 2015


The S.A.F.E. Alternatives iTunes App has been updated, and is working. To view the App, click the iTune icon above.

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New to all this (Not to the self injury but talking about it)

Posted by Kyssarya | January 21st, 2015

Hi Everyone

Not sure where to start or what to say. It bothers me to talk about this because I have this fear of being crazy, of being judged and looked down on for what I do. ¬†I’m 42 yr old female single no children that moved back home and live with my mom. ¬†My dad unexpectedly dropped dead at home in his computer chair on June 11 2014. ¬†The self injury has become more noticeable to me lately, I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I take plenty of meds for it so it’s under control for the most part, I also have some OCD habits so that definitely doesn’t help things.

I had to stop and go back and delete what I was writing, I started to go into to much details. ¬†My first recollection of self harm was in the 3rd grade. ¬†The way I injure, ¬†I’ll just leave it at that but its pretty severe at times. I’ve never really known why I started, I’m thinking it’s the anxiety. Tonight I was at it again when it dawned on me that I need to stop. I’ve stopped before for a while but never for long. ¬†I don’t know if I can stop, but I thought I would try this and see if it helped. I’ve never talked to anyone else before who understood where I was coming from.

I’m open to any and all ideas and thoughts, I’ll also answer any questions as honestly as I can, I just don’t know how far I can go because I don’t want to write anything that would be a trigger. ¬†How does anyone stop? just looking for some insight. Thanks for listening, that means a lot as I’m sure you understand. I hope everyone has a great day and week. I’ll check back in later.



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Still Around!

Posted by Denise | January 12th, 2015

My name is Denise it’s been a really long time since I’ve written anything, but today I found myself wanting to give it all up.¬† My road to becoming was paved with the thorns without the roses, the downs without any ups and being stuck and deciding 100% of the time not wanting anymore because it seemed as time went on I needed to do things my way so no one would say I’m a failure by having a Therapist or Psychiatrist.¬† About 2-3 years ago I decided it’s time to do a psychological change of where I used to live so I start, but I was still self-injuring while doing things like throwing out all my triggers, etc.¬†¬† About 4-5 years ago I had a chance to move out of my old place and make a fresh start, but felt it wasn’t worth it at any cost.¬† Since that time I have move into an apartment that I’m actually happy to call HOME it’s still hard, but now I have a lot more support around me and next month on the 5th will be 2yrs since I’ve hurt myself and I know it’s a huge step because I’ve never been able to go 1 day or 1 week without doing something.¬† Life is still hard because even as a recovering self injurer you always wonder what will tomorrow bring.¬† I also want to let you know I went through the program and graduated August 2008) and I want to say to all the staff members who were there “THANKS FOR BEING THERE.”

I just want to say to all with the right environment, support like friends, therapist and psychiatrist it is possible and just getting rid of all triggers slowly, but surely I’m not saying it’s a quick fix it took time for me, but it was a start.¬† I want to wish all of the staff and anyone who may know me from the program “A HAPPY BELATED NEW YEARS.”



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Am I alone?

Posted by davis40330 | January 10th, 2015

I am 43 and have been “hurting” myself for probably 30 years, regularly. Why can’t I stop?