Blog

This is a "trigger-free" site. Please do not use language containing graphic descriptions of Self Injurious behaviors. Words such as self injury, self harm, and the initials S.I. will be approved. Be mindful of swear words which are inappropriate and offensive to minors and others. This site is monitored and anyone found to continually violate these conditions will be removed from this entire blog site. Please follow S.A.F.E. A LTERNATIVES' philosophy and help us maintain a "trigger-free" blog. Thank you.

If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 - SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

Distractions

Posted by butterflychick | May 28th, 2015

It’s not like I have cravings anymore… so I’m more just creating a message to express myself. To distract myself from feeling the pain that can lead to the horrible feelings of loneliness.

I just want to keep talking to my ex. My ex in which¬† I loved and fell in love with and for all I know, I still love. I haven’t thought about it, I just want to talk to him. I think I’m past the the anger stage, and just to the missing page. We are talking right now, through Facebook. But it gets harder to wait to respond, and I just don’t know anymore. He gave me a message earlier today saying that he has listened to music to help “get through the breakup”. I can’t even talk about the breakup, I still feel empty and alone then. I know it’s better, but I still can’t help it.

So here’s my message to him, the one that he will never receive because I cannot make the next step.

“We’re talking again, if you count Facebook only and me not responding to text messages talking. I still am trying to protect myself. Considering you broke up with me out of nowhere, you should accept that. But when we are talking right now, I just try to get through one conversation after another. I want to tell you more about my life, but I just get stopped. I can’t tell you anything, not without breaking my heart again. But you don’t ask me things like you used to, not the deep things. Not the things that really matter. But I miss that, and I don’t think I can ever find that feeling again. I was so used to it and now I am single. Thanks to you. I’m so sorry about everything, but I don’t know anymore. I wait for you, hoping that you will call or give me some flowers. I just feel like you gave up, and didn’t fight for me anymore. That’s all I ever wanted, was for you to fight. But you gave up, when you told me you would always fight… that hurts, I thought I was worth it. But I guess you didn’t think so… I miss you, but I don’t know if I love you anymore. I love you.”

I miss you…

No Comments »

Please help

Posted by Starlercat | May 27th, 2015

I have a friend (12 years old; call her for the purpose of this Cassie) who is self harming. She comes to school everyday with a new bandage. She has told her dad, my friend (we’ll call her Gretchen), and me. Nobody at school seems to notice but me and Gretchen. When they do notice, she says she fell ice skating or some other excuse. It has gotten pretty serious, she is missing 5 periods of school to injure. She wants to stop but hasn’t. Her dad is in denial. Any advice?

No Comments »

I’m so confused

Posted by hopeful2bhappy | May 15th, 2015

I wish I could understand why or who or even when it all got so out of sorts. I thought things were okay and now I’m exhausted from every thought and feeling. My friends pushed and pushed asking what was wrong this morning and now they’re pretending to care. I know I can handle many things, but I’m tired of hiding and lying to me and everyone else. I wish I knew how to ask, I’m40 something and people think that I should just suck it up and move on, but they don’t understand that even I don’t know why I do this.

5 Comments »

HELP

Posted by MayceeLN | May 13th, 2015

So, I’ve done very spaced out, off and on, self harm since September 2015. My friend thinks I should tell my parents, and I know that’s the right thing to do, but I can’t do it.

2 Comments »

trouble exerting authority for fear of daughter hurting herself

Posted by rlock | May 13th, 2015

We are very new to self injury, my daughter has started therapy, both parents trying to be loving and nonjudgmental. My problem as the mom is I’m having trouble exerting my authority because I’m afraid to stress her out and give her a perceived reason to SI. As a result, she is running the show, so to speak, not following the therapists recommendations ( no social media). Any suggestions? This is a hard struggle for the whole family. Thank you

5 Comments »

tired

Posted by hopeful2bhappy | May 13th, 2015

I used to wonder when enough would be enough, will it ever get better? I know it has to or at least it’s supposed to. This last weekend was so hard for me, but I got through with no s. I. , but not easy. I need to back to counseling soon and I hope that will help. Life is what we make it, or that’s what they tell me. Trying to believe it right now. I have felt alone, but I hope sharing here will help me and maybe help someone else.

2 Comments »

It always goes wrong!!!!

Posted by tryingtochange | May 2nd, 2015

Have you ever had an awesome day with the person your with?? And then it all goes WRONG!!! ¬†well this happens to me all the time!!! Someone else will make him mad but he blames me. Throws stuff in my face that he knows that I struggle with n doesn’t care. But everything is always my fault!!! Idk what to do I can’t down I try to talk to myself to make it not bother me but its just so fustrating that the one person that is suppose to understand you doesn’t n doesn’t care enough to apologize for it n you have to apologize for nothing because did nothing wrong!! ITS STUPID!!!

2 Comments »

Dissapointed

Posted by LizzieD | April 28th, 2015

I injured, again. I really hate myself for it and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry. I was a month clean and I screwed it all up. I have self image problems and have been diagnosed with depression. I’m anorexic and everyone says I’m skinny but I’m scared to gain weight. Just wanted to write that out I guess…

2 Comments »

Alone

Posted by butterflychick | April 26th, 2015

It’s been so long since I have been alone. My mom is out of town, and the house feels so quiet. I don’t feel like I can turn to anybody anymore.

Just a few months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. We began dating right after I first starting any SI. He helped me to heal and grow past those feelings. Now that we are not together, I want to go back to that familiarity. In a few days it would be our four year anniversary. I’ve been trying to hard to remain free. But getting closer to the date I just feel so lost. I want to grasp any sense of control however I can. I know I can’t but I just don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like I can breathe.

Help.

Feeling like a caterpillar…

1 Comment »

Posted by VicToriDuuhhh | April 26th, 2015

So this sysmester is my final sysmester in school before going into adulthood and going off to college.I’m trying to keep it to an easy sysmester this year,but numerous amount of things have stressed me out! One guy who has a gf was dating (he wasn’t dating me) and he told me that he loved me.I asked him why did u say that and we got into this big argument and he wouldn’t stop acting like he was all right and I was wrong.I didn’t know who to tell,so I started injuring myself.I immediately got help for it by a friend and didn’t do it for the longest time.I did it another time a couple months later bc my bf was telling me about having invitro and the fact that we had the convo for two days made me mad bc we were both way to young! And just this week I did it bc everyone kept throwing their attitudes toward me and another girl loves to just get me riled with anger.So she picks on me every chance she gets and it isn’t fair! What makes it worse is that the guilt is making me depressed,shamed,and scared to tell my teacher what I’ve done becaus I feel really pathetic for what I did.Should I just talk to her? And what should I do about injuring bc I want to stop,I just find that it’s my only form of comfort and an easier way to deal with things. And I feel that no one listens anymore.

Comments Off