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If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 - SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

Loooonelyyyy

Posted by msfratelli | March 28th, 2015

I messed up last night and hurt myself and I really want to do it again, so I hope y’all don’t mind, but I’m just going to distract my self for a while and share a horrible poem I wrote forever ago. Thank you for giving me this space to clear my thoughts, here is said lousy poem:

May I ask a favor of you, love?

That depends upon the favor, dove.

To fight  away the cold tonight,

Will you wrap your arms around me tight?

If my answer is ever no,

And our love is naught but woe,

Look at me for a while;

Look until you smile.

But if a smile doesn’t come ,

And diminished is our sun,

Then I urge you to say

That you truly feel this way.

And I promise you now,

Should be bring each other frowns,

I will leave you alone,

And I will find a new home.

But if my answer is as now,

Then I won’t be leaving town.

I will stay forevermore

With the one that I adore

As my heart beats with yours,

Singing, “I am yours forevermore.”

Could you love me forevermore

If I were to be nevermore?

Washed up on a sandy shore,

Or poisoned by a deadly spore?

Could you love me if we were poor,

Working hours and hours more?

I will love you thick and thin.

If Death should take you, I’d drown in gin.

I’d mourn for you until my end;

My only love and closest friend.

Whether we live on the street or in a house,

Love will shower you in copious amounts.

You’re rooted deep within my soul,

Growing around my every bone.

If what you say is truly true,

Then let us sleep without further ado

All night we’ll sleep soundly through

And wake refreshed to the morning dew

We can sleep in our warm cocoon

Knowing in our hearts that you love me and I love you,

Singing, “Forevermore,” in a drowsy coo,¬†

“Forevermore, I love you.”

 

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angel

Posted by deamon_inside | March 26th, 2015

Hi im angel..im 13 and i have tried suicide..i watched this movie in my therapy group…i got triggered but at the same time, i went home and through out my tool, but i am stoll injuring and i need help…

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Idk

Posted by Thoughtspiller | March 23rd, 2015

I dont know why Im here right now. ¬†I just got back from vacation. ¬†I had a decent time. Ive spent all morning in bed this morning, not because I’m depressed or anything, but Im just relaxing for once. ¬†Taking the day for me. ¬†I want to SI. ¬†Really bad. ¬† Actually I have wanted to a few times, even on vacation. ¬†I didnt take my tools cuz we flew (thats not important i know). ¬†But idk. ¬†I just dont know what to do. ¬†I dont want to be constantly thinking of si, wanting to si, constantly thinking of food, worrying about over eating, just going back to my eating disorder. ¬†I relapsed about 6 weeks ago with my ED. ¬†I dont want to go back there. ¬†I see the physical harm from the ed. ¬†I dont even know why im here right now. ¬†Its been months since i posted.

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Call for Subjects: Title: Emotion and Self-Injury Study at UBC (Canada)

Posted by drlader | March 11th, 2015

The Personality, Emotion, and Behaviour Lab in the UBC Psychology Department is conducting a study on the emotions, thoughts, and experiences of people who have struggled with non-suicidal self-injury in the past six months.

If you are interested in participating in the study, contact us for more information at: PEBL@psych.ubc.ca or 604-822-6252.

To be eligible, you must: 1) be age 19 or over, and 2) have engaged in non-suicidal self-injury (intentionally harming yourself without intending to die) in the past six months.

All information you provide will be kept strictly confidential. You do not need to provide any sensitive personal information (e.g., mental health history) when you contact us.

The study will consist of a 1 hour session, where you will do a short computer task and fill out questionnaires. You will receive $20 and parking or transit reimbursement for your time.

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Reseach: Call for subjects

Posted by drlader | March 11th, 2015

A University of Massachusetts Dartmouth study on how online content depicting non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) may either trigger or not trigger self-harm is seeking participants who are at least 18 years old to fill out a brief (approximately 15-20 minutes) online survey. Your participation in the survey will contribute to a better understanding of how the influence of NSSI content may change based on both individual and media differences. The survey is completely anonymous, and upon completion one dollar will be donated on your behalf to the Self Injury Foundation. If you would like to participate, please click on the link below. If you have any questions, please feel free to email either Patrick Geuder at pgeuder@umassd.edu or Elizabeth E. Richardson, PhD at elizabeth.richardson@umassd.edu.
Survey Link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZB7KWR7

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dont know what to do

Posted by hunnybear6 | March 2nd, 2015

I am on here trying to just have someone to talk and help me find other ways to not self harm myself I trying everything and just not working for me been up and down for the past month or two I cry and don’t¬† know why I don’t know what eles to do

 

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I don’t know what to do.

Posted by am866 | February 22nd, 2015

I haven’t hurt my self since 7th grade, its been a couple years clean then right back into it. My family doesn’t know and i don’t want them to because they would be so ashamed but i need someone, anyone to talk to about this.

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Family Doctor

Posted by pepperpeter33 | February 18th, 2015

Friday i have to see the family doctor on a check up and he will notice my injuring and am scard about what he will do. i just started to injure again after 10 yrs of not injuring. I just hope my doctor is understanding of it and wont flip out.

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Im so stressed

Posted by megan_123 | February 15th, 2015

Tomorrow will be a month since the last time i self harmed. Im in online school and i have to ask for an intention to get all my work down. The pressure from not self harming is not as much as i thought i would be but it isn’t helping. Ive finally been gaining back trust with my second mom and the family but i don’t feel like i deserve it. I feel like at any second i could break it or do something stupid even if it could be breaking a nail. My head is spinning everywhere. 2 days ago i looked up my “ex” Facebook and i said everything i wish i could tell him and when i told myself i was a beautiful strong person i cried. I don’t think i believe but i said it out loud for the first time. But tomorrow will be my on month annervisery for not self harming. The longest I’ve gone is 3 months so I’m aiming for that again. Im trying my hardest to stay clean and it can be extremely hard. I was told by my consoling agency i have to change soon because its like a crisis consoling agency so its a 9 week program and i can’t get an extension useless theres immediate crisis or conser for pretty much for self harm or suicide. Im not sure how to feel about all of it. And i hate that its valentine day. My ex is a scizo drug addict how used me and gave me scars that my family hasn’t seen and never will. He’s the one who helped me when i first ran away. He introduced me into drugs and sex and he made me into a sexual play toy w/o me realizing it. Ive been thinking more and more and i want to message him and just yell at him and get it off my chest but i don’t know if i can or not. And I’m alone for valentines, the messed up part is that i talk with my ex-ex boyfriend and me and him have an awkward friendship like we are friends but only because he feels like he would be mean if he wasn’t friends with me. Idk thats my rant‚Ķ..

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what it’s like inside my head

Posted by healing | February 11th, 2015

I need to record this:

It went- super angry at therapist- feeling unsafe- urge to act dangerously. A week of building anger, and more and more urge.

That’s the important part- remembering the sequence. I think that if I ever get that messed up again it might be wise for me to look for anything I might be angry about- entirely possible that I generally don’t feel safe when I feel angry. And that when I don’t *feel* safe, I really want to perform not being safe.

This isn’t as important:

Then he *really* patched it up-

T: Let me ask you this, are you angry at me?
Me: I mean, I said I was when I came in here.
T: (small laugh) Well, I wonder if it feels safe to be angry at me?
Me: (confused, stunned expression)
T: Because I am Sure that it’s safe to be angry at me.

I’m sure we did more than that. We talked about recommitting. About recommitting every minute if that’s what it takes. And about how there’s only one of me- the same part talking to me gets to decide about your behavior.

And then I just started feeling better. And today, still, amazing to feel better.

Scary:

It sort of felt good though- to be seen in that very raw position. To be in the way of relating where I am totally broken down, all cynicism is put aside- more earnest and deeply intimate. It’s something no one sees. (‚Ķ..but maybe a place we all have?‚Ķ.)

Is the goal to be there without having to be broken? Intimacy, that’s what we all want out of life, right?
He felt far away and hard to access, that’s why I was angry. There’s stuff there, too.
I thought I didn’t want to be close to anyone.

‚Ķbut also that isn’t real intimacy in a way because i really feel gagged and unable to speak when I feel broken- at least when I face it- when I don’t just shove it and carry on.

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