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If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 - SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

Posted by healing | August 24th, 2015

I haven’t been here for a while but I feel the need to be here now because I am feeling huge rushes of various emotions and it is freaking me out. Wow. Calmer already. What I have after that, I guess, is a need to tell my story. Which isn’t something I’m up for preforming, as much as I’m up for looking at it. Which is really weird because I am very open about a lot of parts of my life, though I’ve had some extreme experiences– but I guess I’m not open at all about this. Even entirely within my own mind. It’s very good that I have medication near by. I know how to reach out. I haven’t felt tempted by this for a long time, not very strongly… give exception to a few times. All I know for sure is that it has come back up on my radar, and it wasn’t there before. By “before” I might only mean a couple weeks of total absence from my radar but nothing much has happened for a few years now. I think I just keep getting better and better. I know it. But it’s wierd when it pops back up. That’s when I have to remember that it isn’t fate. It’s coming from within me. And all just stay really close to all the recovery skills. They are a rope of sailor’s knots to hold onto when it’s rough. Maybe I am applying them just automaticly when I’m doing well. Or maybe I don’t really need them when I’m doing well. …but to keep them all lined up. Maybe that’s part of revisiting this space. I can’t believe the person I’ve become– I just am more comfortable taking up space all the time. Asking for help used to be impossible. First off, you can’t ask for it if you’d even know you need it– that you exist and you have rights. I’m a Mom and my kid had a rough time through all the recovery. He’s probably starting college this week. Things could always go south, but they are looking very very north. Thanks for letting me check in.

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I’m new at this

Posted by howdoichange | August 18th, 2015

Hello,

im very new to this I honestly didn’t know this was something common. There has been only twill situations that have brought me to this. they were both relationship caused. I know that all if not many of you have problems that are a lot worse, but relarionships are my only weak spots. I have had terrible things happen too my family and myself. The only time I find myself wanting to hurt myself was when my boyfriend for a year and a half broke up with me one day and I just began to injure. I didn’t injure to kill myself I just like the pain it distracted me from what was going on. Nobody knew what was going on. And it’s back now the urge to feel pain so my emotions feel numb. I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months now he is from my home town I knew who he was and his cousin and I are good friends but he is in the military Army to be exact and he is stationed in Washington. I live in a small town and there is a lot of talk. His cousin on one occasion told him that I was cheating or about to it’s NOT true as insane as it sounds I am in Love with him I want nothing more than to have a future with him. Now this past Friday a “friend” told him something similar that isn’t true I have been loyal and faithful he has had me in a limbo of being with me or not and its taken a told on me emotionally I don’t know how to handle the emotions this time I caused myself another injury. Everyone thinks it was an accident things have only gotten worse with him and I REALLY want to inflict more pain on myself but I know it’s wrong and I shouldn’t what do I do what should I do ? Help me please

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Clean

Posted by AmandaBeth | August 9th, 2015

I haven’t been on here in over 2 years, but so much has changed. I’ve gone through a lot of ups and downs, even having to stay in the hospital for a week when things got really bad, but I’m so proud to say that I’m over a year clean now. It’s taken a lot of work, but somehow, I’ve managed. This is a battle that I still have to fight day to day, but I’m getting stronger, and it’s so much easier now.

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Looking for support/advice

Posted by gemini052911 | July 22nd, 2015

I found out yesterday that my 12 year old daughter has been self injuring for over a year now. She doesn’t want to go to therapy and says she isn’t ready to talk about it yet. I respect that, but I also know that isn’t a solution at all. I wrote her a letter and reassured her that I am not angry and that she is not in trouble. I told her that I didn’t know what to do, but that I love her and that we will figure it out together and I will do whatever I need to help her. Ā We have talked and spent time together today, but she hasn’t brought it up.
I don’t want to push her too much, but I know a conversation needs to happen very soon. She said that one of her friends knows, but hasn’t said who yet. I feel like that’s something I need to know. She is a very private person anyway and doesn’t want anyone to know about this. And I understand that, but I feel like her friend probably needs someone to talk to as well. I can only assume that her friend hasn’t told her parents about it.
I think what I am wondering is where do I start? What questions do I ask her? Is group therapy maybe a better idea for her? Should I ask how often and if it has progressed? Should I ask to see what she has done and with what? Should I make her leave her door open all the time and never leave her by herself? She has always been responsible and besides minor indiscretions I have never had a reason not to trust her. I don’t want to go through all of her stuff or invade her privacy, that’s lousy. Ā I feel like this isn’t one of those things that breaks trust, but my heart instead.
I’m not looking for a magic answer or anything. I was just hoping to hear from other parents and teens that have been where we are at. Were there certain things that worked better than others? Things you wish you would have done or your parents would have done or said?

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Call for Subjects – on line study

Posted by Pam L. | July 20th, 2015

Please Help Us Learn More About Self-Injury!!!

Eligible participants who complete the survey earn a $10 gift card!

Hello. My name is Shana Franklin and I am a graduate student in the psychology department working with Dr. Shawn Cahill, Ph.D at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. I am currently conducting a research study examining non-suicidal self injury and other coping behaviors individuals use in response to stressors.

The purpose of this notice is to invite your participation.

Participation is completely voluntary. This study is all online, so the survey may be completed at your convenience from any PC/Mac that has internet access. Responses are confidential.

Study Information:
Study Title: Coping Behaviors and Self Injury: An Internet Study
Study Description: The purpose of this research study is to examine experiences related to certain maladaptive coping behaviors that some individuals experience in response to stressors. Approximately 700 people will be recruited to participate in this internet study through this and similar websites. If you agree to participate, you will be asked to complete a survey that will take approximately 30-45 minutes to complete. The questions will ask about various coping behaviors, including instances of intentional injury that is not accompanied by a desire to commit suicide, and your experiences related to these behaviors. The survey will also ask questions about general health and mental health history, as well as personality variables such as questions regarding emotion regulation and impulsivity. Participants who meet initial eligibility criteria and complete the survey will earn a $10 gift card to amazon.com that will be e-mailed to the personā€™s desired e-mail address within 48 hours of study completion.

If you wish to participate, please visit the following link:

https://milwaukee.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_1H11JmNZJrD3ky1

Finally, once again, participation in this study is completely voluntary and responses to the studyā€™s survey are confidential.. In order to receive compensation, we do require participants provide an e-mail address and their initials; however this information is not linked to survey responses. In addition, the email and initials will only be collected after the survey has been completed; thus, participants who wish to participate in the survey but do not want to submit an email address and their initials my none-the-less complete the survey. However, in such cases we will not be able to provide them with a gift card. This research hopes to learn more about individuals with non-suicidal self injury and other coping behaviors. Thank you for your participation and contribution to the research field.

If you have any questions, please contact us at:

frankl39@uwm.edu (Shana Franklin) or cahill@uwm.edu (Shawn Cahill)

THANK YOU!!!!

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Hello…I guess (?)

Posted by the-girl-with-a-hoodie | July 16th, 2015

Hey, IĀ“m Camila… well, first of all, I would like to apologize if I make any grammar mistakes or something like that. (IĀ“m mexican).

Hum…I self harm since IĀ“m 12 and I really want to quit it. Right now IĀ“m not going to post anything about my self-injury, but later, I will.

I would also like to tell you, whoever is reading this, that you can count on me and that I will do everything I can to make you feel better…and I also expect the same from you.

I think thatĀ“s all for now. Ā  xoxo

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How to be vulnerable

Posted by lookingforpeace | July 3rd, 2015

I want to hurt. I want this to stop. I want to finally figure out the reason I continue to get these urges that drive me to a place of self – harm. How does one allow their self to be vulnerable without falling apart?

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The Oxymoron: Being Vulnerable.

Posted by lookingforpeace | June 30th, 2015

My therapist and I are working on trying to identify what are the motivating factors that drive my self – injurious behaviors. Reading through some of the material that she has provided has been difficult. The list of possible motivations for self – injury are just enough to rekindle the urge to harm. There are some forms of self – injury that I engage in but would have never thought to be self – injury. I continue to struggle with this internal battle over will I harm or not. I want to just cover my head with my blankets and sleep until it’s over. It’s almost like I need to feel the constant pain to remind me that I’m still here, this is real, and that I am still alive.

I want to be vulnerable and just say out loud to my therapist the things I’m thinking. I want to be vulnerable, but I am so afraid that if I allow myself to do so, I am going to fall into a pit and unintentionally, or even intentionally, crumble into unrepairable pieces. And the thing that makes this an oxymoron: I want to be that vulnerable, to let all of the heavy weight go, and trust that someone will hold me up when I am no longer able to. I want to be able to cry tears of release instead of only the tears of pain that I have come to know so well.

All while battling this urge to keep from harming, I battle with trying to keep the marks covered and hidden not just from my co-workers or therapist, but also from my husband who only is aware of one of the ways I use self – injury. I went too the last few times. Left more to cover than I intended. I just want it to stop. When does it stop? I started over 10 years ago. When will it stop?

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Can’t seem to get control……

Posted by timetostop2015 | June 16th, 2015

I am a 47 year old woman and only began S.I. a year ago. Unfortunately it has progressed to something I am losing control of. It started with a few injuries and has gotten much worse.

I started to heal the immense pain I felt in my heart, I am now afraid it has become a monster I can not control. The need to SI constantly simmers and my mind is always searching for a new way. I understand we are not to explain what we have done but this last episode has made me afraid to be alone by myself.

I am all alone in this as the group counseling nor my family has any clue what I am going through and always tells me, “just don’t do it”. Easier said than done. I am lost, my injuries hurts and my mind is spinning… is there any peace from this path I am on?

1 Comment »

Struggling

Posted by jrscfsr | June 1st, 2015

First time user. I have been struggling for a while, especially the last year or so.

26 year old single mom that still lives at home with my parents, brother, sister, and my daughter. have a job but not a career been looking but can’t find anything.

Im epileptic so on meds for that for about the last 10 years have been on and off having ok times. I am on meds for depression but don’t believe they are doing anything. have been on and off birth control for years. About two years ago finally made a change and started doing really well. Broke up with my daughters father, made changes to better myself and make me happy got braces that i really wanted decided to start working out eating better. Overall changing my life to be the example i wanted to set for my daughter.

This last year I started birth control again and thats when i really noticed a lot of my changes. Eating worst, gaining weight back, no interest in anything, wanting to be around other people yet at the same time not wanting to leave my house let alone my room. stopped working out, sleeping all the time. along with not giving a care in the world noticed that in the last year I’ve more than doubled the number of people i have slept with. Ive never been in what i would consider to be a real relationship where seems the other person actually wanted to be around me always felt like i was begging them for attention. So i have been looking for some kind of attention in all the wrong ways. I have always been the odd wheel, wanted nothing more than be in a relationship that i feel loved and wanted. I see everyone around me in happy relationships, getting married, starting families. (i know that i need to love myself before anyone else loves me but still doesnt make me want it any less. just don’t feel that i deserve anything from anyone and i want someone to prove to myself that i am worth loving)

I have no one i can talk to everyone that knows how sad and depressed i am doesn’t want to hear it anymore. Their response just seems to be should go talk to someone (which is something i already know). All is easier said than done. When i was diagnosed with my epilepsy felt that i was always teased about it by my family (mom, dad, sister, and brother) which leads me not to want to admit that i have another thing wrong with me when i still live with them makes it hard, don’t think i can take their ridicule. Plus I’m still on my dads health insurance so don’t want to have that show on there that I’m seeing anyone don’t have the money to pay for it off insurance.

Having my daughter is the only thing that keeps me going, without out her i don’t know where i would be.

Overall, im so depressed and in know the moves i need to make just don’t know how to with my budget and lack of support. if you actually read this appreciate it just needed a way to vent.

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